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Ross Reads: Ancestor

nobody@vox.com(Ross) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 09:23:50 -0400

Ancestor by Scott Sigler
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

Scott Sigler's writing style reminds me of a cross between Stephen King's and Michael Crichton's. Sigler has a grasp on modern science and technology, and uses it to invest the reader emotionally in the well-being of his stories' characters, creating gripping tales that leave you wanting to read "just one more page" all the way until the end of the book.

Ancestor, one of Sigler's earlier works, definitely feels a little less polished than some of his later books (e.g. Infected). For a book whose main premise is supposed to be about primordial, ravenous monsters, the "ancestors" don't really show up until about 2/3 of the way through the story. However, Sigler spends this time weaving a web of plot, characters, and settings that play out beautifully once the savage killing-spree begins.

Overall, this is a really engaging story with just enough science to make things seem plausible without going overboard and making most non-biochemistry students' eyes glaze over. It showcases the potential perils of genetic engineering WITHOUT preaching them, and ties it into a plot with decent characterization, engaging the reader and keeping him/her on edge right up until the last page.

Note: This review refers to the eBook version released by Scott Sigler and Dragon Moon Press in March 2007.

View all my reviews on Goodreads.

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I Love My Wife (and Kids)

nobody@vox.com(Ross) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 09:18:53 -0400

I'm going home tomorrow! For about a week! And get to spend every waking moment with my beautiful wife and kids!

Hopefully I won't come home to a surprise like the last time I went out with my friends and came home after my wife was in bed:

Hey, at least she left me a note!!

All kidding aside, I can't wait to see my family. It's only been six weeks, but it feels like a year. We've already got parts of the week planned out - we're going to go to the pool, Monkey Joe's, play on the new swingset, take walks, ride bikes, and just hang out and enjoy each others' company. And of course, there will be plenty of kissing all around...

Tub Smooches

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A Tale of Two Weddings

nobody@vox.com(Ross) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 08:13:06 -0400

As I've mentioned in a couple of my more recent blog posts, I'm currently on a plant assignment in Minnesota. I'm working long hours (sometimes 12-14 per day), and usually 6 days a week. My wife and kids are back home in North Carolina, and I miss them terribly. Not a lot to be excited about there.

So when I'm done with a workday, I'm ready to kick back and ~~relax~~ sleep, or at least attempt to do so if I'm not too wired up from work. A couple of weeks ago, all I wanted to do was get back to my room, say hi to my wife and kids on the webcam, grab a bite and hit the sack. Someone out there had other plans for me that day, however.

I noticed an awful lot of people dressed up and entering the hotel as I parked my car. There were even a couple of limousines parked by the front door. "Great," I thought to myself. "Someone just got married and they're going to have a reception in the banquet room. Too bad I didn't bring a suit with me, or I could have crashed the party..."

The lobby was packed with people. Where the lobby normally looked like this:

Hotel lobby, normally

it was instead wall-to-wall wedding guests, all dolled up and standing around chatting. I figured they were waiting for the banquet room to open and were just schmoozing, so I started excusing myself and made my way through the crowd of people to go up the central stairs and get to my room at the top of the stairs. I was about 3/4 of the way through the crowd when I realized they were NOT waiting for the banquet room to open. No, they were waiting for the wedding. Which was taking place in T-minus 30 seconds, just outside my hotel room door.

Literally just outside my hotel room door.

Don't the bride and groom look cute on the stairway?

Yes, I was about to make my way up the stairs when the string quartet on the 2nd floor started playing, and the groomsmen and bridesmaids started walking past my door and taking their places on the steps. As people started craning around me to get snapshots of the wedding party, I sheepishly excused myself and went back the way I came to the front door. I stood around long enough to see the bride and groom get set up on the stairs for the above photo, and then went to the bar to patiently wait for the ceremony to be over. Hell, it was either that, or give the bride and groom a wedding memory they wouldn't soon forget as I shouldered my way past them and schlepped my way into my room right behind the entire wedding party!

Luckily, it didn't take them too long to finish the ceremony, and I was able to get into my room after about a 20 minute delay. I even managed to talk to my wife and kids before crashing from the long work-week.

Just after the ceremony (about half the crowd is already at the bar)

Not to be out-done, the wedding party that visited this past Saturday was just as surreal, but more considerate. They had the wedding outside the hotel. Outside my window, to be exact.

Unfortunately, I don't have pictures of this one, so I'll just have to paint you a mental picture:

- About 150 folding chairs set up on the grass set parallel to the hotel, pretty much all filled with guests with overflow standing behind them
- A horn quartet was playing music before the ceremony. It was all classical stuff, none of which I recognized except for the piece that my daughter sings along to when they play it on Little Einsteins.
- There were 7 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen. The 7th (or first, depending on how you looked at it) bridesmaid walked down the aisle with a Basset hound. Not sure if it was the bride's or the groom's, but I'm assuming it had more significance than just being the singleton bridesmaid's date for the evening.
- The bride walked down the aisle to someone (sounded like maybe a friend?) singing while she was accompanied by another gal on a keyboard.
- The officiant was using a microphone but with my window closed, I couldn't make out much of what she said - most of the time it sounded like the teacher from the Charlie Brown specials:

Mwa Mwa Wa, Wa Mwa Wa Wa

- There were golf-carts involved, but I'm not sure if they were used during the ceremony, or just to help drive back some of the folks who couldn't walk well. Either way, it's probably a good thing they didn't hold the wedding in a church - not many have pews spaced widely enough apart to allow clearance for golf carts.
- The receiving line stretched back across the grass towards my window. Apparently the outdoor entrance to the banquet hall is directly under my window, so they all went back inside there and had a rollicking good time. I didn't go down to join them but every once in a while when someone came outside to smoke I caught the strains of old familiar DJ classics like "Celebration", "Electric Boogie" (AKA The Electric Slide), or "We are Family".

I asked the bartender and she said they're booked for weddings/wedding celebrations through the end of October. Looks like I may have a few other interesting wedding stories to witness/relate in the upcoming months!

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The Calendar's Not Broken, It's Just Moving at Double-Speed

nobody@vox.com(Ross) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 12:55:41 -0400

Calendar 2009

It seems only a few short months ago that I wrote my last birthday post here. I can't believe it's been another year already. Really, I can't believe how time flies when you're living your life. But most of all, I can't believe I'm now 30 years old. When I was a kid, 30 seemed ANCIENT. Now that I'm 30, it seems like I'm just a few short years out of high school. Strange how perspectives change, huh?

This year's birthday is a mixed bag - I'm always happy and grateful when another birthday rolls around, especially when it makes me a little introspective and I focus on how things have been going. On the other hand, I'm on an assignment in Minnesota right now with 6 weeks in between visits home to see my family (currently going on 3.5 weeks and rounding the home stretch to my next visit home in mid-August). Additionally, I have to work 1pm to midnight today (what's with making me work on my birthday!?!?) which sort of sucks, but at least I got to sleep in late this morning and putter around the hotel a bit. Sleeping late + reading a good book and drinking coffee in bed is not a bad start to a birthday - I recommend trying it sometime.

So without further ado, I'll jump right into my yearly introspective retrospective, semi-objective super-collective of selective reflectives:

Demolishing her first birthday cake

Over the past year I:

Took a vacation with my family to Playa del Carmen, Mexico (would love to be back there with the family again!!)
Celebrated Rosalie's First Birthday in the traditional family style, Violet's 4th birthday, and Dee's __th birthday (that's classified info and if I told you she'd have to kill me)
Read some good books
Rediscovered the time suck that is Facebook and Facebook apps like Bejeweled Blitz, Poker, Lexulous and Scrabble
Set up my Homeowner's Association community website and continued to maintain it
Started running (again!)
Finished first in my age division in my first 5k in 5 years (ugh, now I'm in a new age division, guess it's time to work my way up again)
Dramatically improved my cholesterol levels through diet, exercise, and a couple of helpful cholesterol medications
Appear to have gained a lot more grey hair (probably from chasing after my kids!)
Sold another piece to epiffunnies.com and had it voted as ePIFfunny of the Week
Joined my synagogue's Brotherhood's book club. Although I'm missing out on most of the meetings this summer, it's still fun. Plus, I'm the youngest guy there by about 15-20 years :-)
Built a playset for my kids in the backyard with the help of my father and brother-in-law (thanks Dad and Brian!)
Watched Violet's very first dance recital (cutest video EVER coming soon to a blog near you!)
No, I don't get to drive the crane

Kept afloat in my role as lead electrical on this project and began my stint up here on-site in Minnesota for commissioning

In the coming year I expect I will:

Spend a lot of long hours on-site here in Minnesota cursing equipment and working my butt off to get things running properly
Not see my girls NEARLY often enough, but will immerse myself in their lives at every given opportunity
Finish this damn Vox Export tool (I swear it's almost ready for testing!!!) and get it out to the ~~masses~~ people who have asked about it

And just like last year, I also have some things I hope to do, including:

Bring smiles to the faces of every one in my family as often as I can
Get back into running regularly
Wrap up this assignment as quickly as possible and get back home to see my family SOON
Get back into posting regularly on Vox
Enjoy every day - Time's a one-way street and I don't want to miss any of the sights along the way

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Wonderin' About: Scores on the Doors

nobody@vox.com(Ross) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:27:00 -0400

Should you REALLY be eating there?

You see them almost everywhere you go nowadays (or at least, you're supposed to): food establishment inspection scores posted on a door, a window, behind a counter or over the bar of places that sell/serve food. They warn you if you need a HAZMAT suit and a full course of antibiotics to eat at your local pizza parlor, or whether your only worry at the nearby burger joint is whether the habanero sauce on the table really WILL eat a hole in your tongue. Many newspapers even print the names of the restaurants with great scores or poor scores, so you can flock to them or steer clear, respectively.

The scores are supposedly indicative of the hygienic level of the restaurant - in most cases, the higher the score, the better the restaurant did in the inspection, with 100 being a perfect score. For each infraction, demerits are assigned that subtract from the perfect score, so 11 points of demerits would equate to a inspection score of 89, which in most cases corresponds to a grade of a 'B' for the establishment. (Apparently in some areas they do things back-assward and count UP from the demerits, so 0 is a perfect score and getting 11 points of demerits gives you a somewhat-healthy score of 11.)

So here's the point where I'm stymied. Google searches turn up all kinds of info on inspections and scores, but I want to get the lowdown from people in the know (or at least who know more than me). Obviously it's going to vary from state to state and even possibly county to county, but if you know the answers to any of my questions below, care to leave a comment and enlighten the rest of us? And if you've horror stories about the food industry places you may have worked in, why not share with the rest of us so we can all be on edge next time we visit our local eatery?

How often do places have to actually get inspected? Is it a preset schedule, or does an inspector just show up for a surprise inspection? ("Quick Lisa, hide that 3-week-old milk while I keep the inspector busy checking out our dirty bathrooms!")
Does anyone have a GOOD breakdown of what infractions correspond (approximately) to what kind of point deductions? I found a couple in this article (note for the squeamish: don't read past halfway unless you want to find out what the folks in the Thai restaurant were doing wrong): things like

Improperly cooking food lowers the restaurant’s score by five points.
Employees’ failures to wash their hands lower the score by four points.
A lack of soap in the soap dispensers loses the restaurant three points.

What's the worst score a place can get and still stay open?
What's the worst score you've seen at a place and still been willing to eat there?
Can a restaurant "appeal" an inspection or ask for an earlier-than-scheduled re-inspection if they've made corrective actions that they think should warrant a higher score?
How, in the case of some of the places in the Charlotte area that I've seen, can you get a score higher than 100? Is there extra credit? How high can the score actually go?

So how DO you get a score of 101?

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Buildin' Something Big for the 4th of July Weekend

nobody@vox.com(Ross) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:42:34 -0400

This year, we decided to forgo our normal July 4th weekend tradition of lazing around and doing virtually nothing. Even though it seems there's no better way to celebrate our independence from British rule than by sitting around and drinking beer, we thought it might be a convenient time to undertake a project we've been planning on doing this summer: putting together a new playset for the girls.

After hiring a professional to take care of the "hard stuff" (i.e. dealing with drainage issues, grading, and the landscaping timber border), my father, my brother-in-law, and I went to work early Saturday morning, and in just less than 28 hours, we transformed this:

Playset border

this:

Pile o' parts

and this:

Big-ass pile o' mulch

into this beautiful and entertaining playset:

Finished Product

Needless to say, the girls were in love with it even before we were done and wore themselves out playing on it most of Sunday afternoon. The exhausted-yet-triumphant construction crew retired to the shady patio, where we spent the rest of the afternoon drinking beer and reveling in the kids' enjoyment of their new play area.

Playset building, by the numbers:

Play area dimensions - 28' x 21'
Number of folks involved in the construction - 3
Total man-hours from start to finish - 23 man-hours
Number of times we were asked by kids/wives if we were done yet - 17
Number of playset parts ~ 50 + hardware
Number of playset parts it felt like we had ~ 1,000
Amount of mulch purchased - 9 cubic yards
Approximate weight of mulch - 3500 pounds, transported one wheelbarrow-load at a time
Approximate weight of mulch it felt like we moved ~ 7 tons
Number of folks who used sunscreen - 2
Number of folks who wished they had re-applied sunscreen in the afternoon - 1
Number of parts the manufacturer had drilled wrong and had to replace before we could begin - 2
Number of parts it looks like the manufacturer may have drilled wrong that we just made-do with - 1
Number of parts we initially installed backwards/in the wrong place and had to correct - 2
Number of places in the instructions we could not figure out what the heck they wanted us to do (until we sat down and stared at it for a bit) - 4
Leftover parts - Lots of extra deck screws, nuts and washers, but no significant parts
Injuries sustained - 2 (minor cuts to my right index finger, on two separate occasions!)
Number of hours spent watching the kids enjoy the playset - 4
Number of days expected until the kids lose interest in the playset - about 12

Seriously though, the playset (a gift from my parents) is absolutely wonderful, and I am so happy that we spent the time to put it together for the kids to play with. I think they're going to enjoy it for many years to come, and it should provide a great place for them and their cousins to play when my wife is pulling her hair out and tells them "Go play outside and give Mommy a break!!!"

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A Call for Alpha Testers for My Vox Export Tool

nobody@vox.com(Ross) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 06:50:22 -0400

EDIT: Thanks for all the volunteers - I think I'm set on the alpha testing crew (who I will be contacting as soon as I can get the front-end tied to the back-end and make sure it's not going to break when you type in your vox address). If you missed your chance to volunteer for testing - don't fret; I don't think the testing process will take all that long and I'll be opening it up for general consumption just as soon as I possibly can.

Okay, I'm not actually quite ready for alpha testers just yet, but soon I will be initializing the alpha version of the Vox export tool to those willing to help me test it out prior to making a formal release to the masses. I wanted to get names of people interested in helping now, so that as soon as I'm ready I can contact you individually and get you started on the testing process. Please read below and if you are interested in alpha testing the tool, please email me at VoxPorter@gmail.com . I NEED A VALID EMAIL ADDRESS from each alpha tester so I can be in communication about updates, bug fixes, and requests for more information if I'm trying to figure out what went wrong in your setup. I will NOT be communicating this through Vox comments or PMs, so if you're not willing to email me, please don't volunteer.

Testers should:

Be willing to try out the tool (possibly multiple times if bugfixes are required)

Be able/willing to import the resulting file into a WordPress blog (instructions may be provided if you don't know how) (free WordPress blogs can be created at WordPress.com, or you can set one up on your own server if you know how)

Be able/willing to review the resulting blog for problems/errors in the import process (i.e. checking to make sure content imported properly, blog post titles, dates, and tags appear correct, etc)

and most importantly:

Be able/willing to inform me of any problems you experience or notice, as well as provide comments/questions about using the export tool, the process as a whole, and any specific areas you think need improvement. You won't need to be available to run the tool the same day I send you notification, but please only volunteer if you think you can support the testing in a timely manner (i.e. within about a week of getting a notification for testing).

Again, if you are interested in alpha testing the tool, please email me at VoxPorter@gmail.com . I'll select testers based on my current needs and the number who volunteer.

Oh, and FYI, the current planned Alpha version of the VoxPorter (name still in flux) tool includes the following:

Export all publicly viewable blog posts from a user's blog to a WXR .xml file (WordPress import file)

Importing this file into a WordPress blog will import blog titles, posting dates/times, content, and tags from posts to the new blog (note: links and media [pictures, music, videos] will still link to their current Vox enclosures for now)

Select whether trackback pings and comments will be globally enabled or disabled on all imported posts

Future improvements planned once this version is tested and available in a steady-state form:

Option to also export post comments (would show up under each blog post, just like they do on Vox)

Automatic splitting of WXR file on the fly into 2 MB sections for blogs with massive archives

Secondary tool to allow you to quickly and easily download your entire uploaded photos library for use on your new blog

Secondary tool to allow you to quickly and easily see what other social media services your Vox neighbors use (along with links to their individual accounts) so even if you decide not to stick with Vox, you can still stay in contact with your 'hood through other apps or sites

Other improvements possible but less likely (given the time I have to work on this):

Converting Vox links to your blog posts on the fly so they link to other posts in your new blog

Converting to other blog formats besides Wordpress (Blogger, MovableType, etc)

Automatic widget/banner creation that you can post on your Vox blog to point people to your new blog location

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Ross Reads: The House of the Scorpion

nobody@vox.com(Ross) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 07:30:54 -0400

The House of the Scorpion

Nancy Farmer

Rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed this novel. This is one of those rare few young-adult novels that adults will be able to read, appreciate, and enjoy as much as its "intended audience". Like Heinlein's "juveniles", just because The House of the Scorpion's main character is a juvenile doesn't mean the writing, plot, and characterization have to be second-rate.

This book paints a very interesting picture of a quasi-future where Mexico and the US have made "The Devil's Pact"; they have turned over a tract of land between the two nations to a group of drug-lords known as the "Farmers" who grow and harvest poppies for opium in return for curbing all illegal immigration between the two surrounding countries. In the 100 years of their existence, the Farmers have created a civilization of their own, rich and isolated and abusive of its workers, most of whom have computer chips implanted in their brains that turn them into "eejits", or zombie-like workers who won't even take a drink of water without being told to do so.

The main character is a young boy who is a clone, but a very special one: he is the clone and heir-apparent of El Patron, the despotic dictator of the country of Opium. And as he grows and begins to learn about what makes him different from all the servants and other clones in this repressed land, the household cook Celia (his adoptive mother) and El Patron's most trusted and faithful bodyguard, Tam Lin, help him discover some shocking truths about himself and the world into which he has been delivered.

View all my reviews on Goodreads.

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More Hypocrisy?

nobody@vox.com(Ross) — Mon, 11 May 2009 09:14:20 -0400

Note to the lady driver of the SUV in this picture:

Hypocrite of the Day

If your car has a yellow ribbon with "Share the Road" and a bicycle emblazoned on it, it's probably best to exhibit the same courtesy to other drivers that you are claiming you demonstrate to your two-wheeler friends, namely:

DON'T DRIVE ON THE DAMNED SHOULDER AND PASS THREE CARS (including me) JUST TO CUT INTO THE TRAFFIC FLOW AT THE LAST SECOND (right in front of me, forcing me to slam on my brakes) TO GET TO YOUR FINAL DESTINATION 5 SECONDS FASTER!

If you avoid doing this in the future, you might refrain from looking like a huge ass, and it just might save you from getting rear-ended by a less awake (or aware) driver than myself.

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Numerology is for Kooks?

nobody@vox.com(Ross) — Thu, 07 May 2009 11:13:15 -0400

Today I am posting this on 5/7/09 11:13:15 AM. Make of that what you will.

That is all. (More substantial post to come when I have a chance to take a break from work overload).

EDIT: I guess this is known as "Odd Day" and is one of only six this century that will feature three consecutive odd numbers.

More information (including details on the $579 prize for those who "involve the most people in the Oddest Parade of Odd Characters, write the best Odd Ode, or create the best Odd Celebrations" can be found at http://www.oddday.net/ .

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